Pigeon's Droppings

you don't even know who you are...

2008-07-21T18:07:00Z

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

dilemma:

2008-07-19T14:42:13Z

Don't know what to dance to tomorrow: Joy Divisison or Beats Antique.

I'm dancing at the middle east which is usually middle eastern music. I'd dance to both if I had enough time :P
I've danced to the Beats Antique song, and Ariellah practically owns that song now so I feel odd about dancing to that (since the friends who are coming all probably have seen youtube clips of ariellah dancing to that song) and JD...welll, I've been wanting to dance to them for aaaages but I don't know if it's venue appropriate.
KA!

theblackqueen @ 2008-07-18T22:58:00

2008-07-19T02:58:40Z

Quote of the Day

2008-07-14T19:30:01Z

Courtesy of James Rigby of Wickford, Essex:
"There's nothing more British than a right royal spanking followed by a nice cup of tea. It helped build the Empire."

i laughed. for minutes.

!!!

2008-07-11T20:04:16Z

http://bunspace.com/
BEHOLD!
I have found a new religion!

theblackqueen @ 2008-07-09T14:41:00

2008-07-09T18:48:39Z

I hate how ridiculously moody I am sometimes. I go from opposite to opposite at the flick of a wrist.
My ongoing crisis with my body was on hiatus for a while and I was pleased pleased pleased with myself but within the past three days or so I feel grossed out by it. This paired with everyone and their mother being gym obsessed made me sigh and print out the hours to the sports center.
Guh.
My bleederings started and d I've been feeling right crap and sore and crabby.
I went to bed last night at 10 or so and slept til 8:21.
This week better fucking shape up.

!!!

2008-07-09T14:37:39Z

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=20051209-000001&page=1

yes. all i do is post articles.

Needed to share:

2008-07-08T19:43:40Z

http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/05/woman-in-charge-women-who-charge/?scp=1&sq=clinton%20sex%20and%20the%20city&st=cse

:|

2008-07-02T19:34:59Z

My computer is dead.
*sniffle*

das ärgert mich

2008-07-01T19:36:07Z

So I was cruisin around on facebook and I came across this ad:

Ok, can you see whats wrong? Maybe you know, the person in the first picture is skinny already. I, in fact, think she has a good and beautiful figure. The "Skinny" picture is just, kind of too thin and shapeless :|

ugh, people.

had to vent.

theblackqueen @ 2008-07-01T15:09:00

2008-07-01T19:10:04Z

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061258474?ie=UTF8&tag=portableaudio-20&link_code=as3&camp=211189&creative=373489&creativeASIN=0061258474
wantses.

theblackqueen @ 2008-06-30T14:32:00

2008-06-30T18:35:02Z

So I am always amused at the messages I get...but I had to share this one:
i sense You might cut off a man's ballsac just to experience the pleasure of seeing true panic in his eyes...

I'm a sadist, not a maniac

....

2008-06-30T04:16:42Z

I smell a rat!

It's fun time again.

2008-06-28T20:51:34Z

My life according to Google!

1: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
Paloma needs to foster a healthy fighting spirit.

2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
paloma looks like a femme fatale from any one of dipalma's films

3: Type in "[your name] does" in Google Search:
Paloma does it day and night.

4: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
Paloma hates Jesus.

5: Type in "[your name] goes" or "..has gone" in Google search:
Paloma goes full throttle!

6: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
Paloma Loves Black Cock In Her Ass And Mouth

7: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:
Paloma eats crickets

8: Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
Paloma has been interpreted by musicians of diverse backgrounds

9: Type in "[your name] died" in Google Search:
Paloma died and when i thought it couldn't get any worse

10: Type in "[your name] will" in Google search:
PALOMA WILL APPEAR HERE IF AND WHEN PALOMA FORMS

Tea and Cigarettes

2008-06-27T19:05:51Z

I can't remember my initial reasoning for wanting to write a journal but now I think I will write a bit about creature comforts. I'm currently not at work, eating pot stickers watching the cremaster cycle (part three, mind you).
I have negative $62 in the bank and $15 dollars in my purse.
I had to run back through the torrential downpour and got absolutely soaked. I ran across streets and fields; my skirt was scrunching up so high that you could see the tops of my stockings. The smarmy groundskeepers grinned, I didn't care.
Throughout the run I smiled the whole time.
Today has been a good day.
I woke up next to someone I actually like.
And I've been able to take things in my pace today.
I absolutely adore the rain and wish sometimes that I could live in a place where it always poured and there was no threat of flooding. Rain always reminds me of great memories, calming ones from my childhood.
Today has been a very free day, and I am happiest when I am free to do what i want.
The Cremaster Cycle reminds me of when I was doing the Cambridge University thing. I sat down at the Tate Modern and watched a bit, somewhat obsessively and didn't ever want to leave.
Cigarettes will always be comforting to me, the scent...reminds me of being in england or japan. Fun times.
I feel so pleased even though so much is wrong.

theblackqueen @ 2008-06-25T09:15:00

2008-06-25T13:17:47Z

I need an art fix.

theblackqueen @ 2008-06-23T13:39:00

2008-06-23T17:54:21Z

I woke up this morning with a peculiar feeling of terror to a sound reminiscent of the blitz and the ocean falling from the sky.
One of the things I love about MA is the summers here; the ridiculous, merciless and excessive rain.
I was supposed to go to work at 1:30 for training, but when i got to the room, no one was there. This furthered the unwarranted feeling of terror at the pit of my stomach.
Ah relief, it isn't until Tuesday.
I can breathe? No, I can't. I need another cigarette.
This summer is bad, it's brought me slowly back into smoking (regularly) although it isn't as bad as say...11th and 12th grade. I remember when I "quit", when i wanted to get serious about singing again. I did pretty well most of last year...but yeah, I blame men.
I need a drink but I can't get one until later tonight when I am whisked away by who knows.
My flask is fucking empty. Never let me down, buddy.
I need a drink to provide me with the courage which I typically have when investing my time into a fresh, new chunk of Menschenfleisch right before I tear it from the bone. For some reason, the feeling of terror has robbed me of my nature given courage.

Either way, I used my ridiculous secret spy powers to get into an area which was otherwise inaccessible. And I did it all without my catsuit.
My catsuit isn't my Samson beard, thankfully. Which is why it is left in a closet in California. Lately my make up and my boots have been my power source.
Or my grin.

hmm, i may have been found out. Now is the time when i turn into a poof of smoke and disappear from this room.

theblackqueen @ 2008-06-23T00:03:00

2008-06-23T04:04:30Z

oh jesus.
My balls just shriveled up and ran off with the spoon.
Halp.

Edit: Garrrr. Which box is my harness in. this is pissing me off.

Words can't....

2008-06-21T22:33:24Z

lol men.

2008-06-08T23:19:10Z

So i've been in ca for the past month or so and am returning to boston tonight. I'm not sure how i'm feeling but I must say it is nice to be "Single".
I'm not particularly keen on staying here or returning so we shall see what happens.
I am however happy to know that I will be able to go to ceremony again (Hooray). So you can cath me there, tomorrow night. It'll be the first time in a while since i am now of legal boozing age.

my ride has bailed on me tomorrow so I hope i dont die trying tomake it back to smellesley with my suitcases.
Last night i did a show, which i think i did a good job in but a lot of people dont get me and my lack of sex appeal so i went over the non dance crowd's head.
I'm wicked tired and can only find it in myself to be bitchy and pass out so i guess im going to sleep now. blaaargh.
forget the fact that i havent packed yet. nyahaha.

theblackqueen @ 2008-05-23T14:42:00

2008-05-23T21:44:04Z

UGH
myspace is being a bitch so i cant update it with my latest gigs etc.

and i'm still in a bad mood from like almost two weeks ago.

and i got a bitchy comment on one of my youtube videos. But that doesnt really bother me.

Im more distraught at being alone. ARGH.

theblackqueen @ 2008-05-18T23:09:00

2008-05-19T06:09:26Z

yeah, i must be in a weird mood...i'm actually kind of considering going to fanime for lawlz.

ha!

more complete update later

argh

2008-05-13T15:36:12Z

im wicked sick right now and I can't concentrate. And I have to take my german final
On the bright side...the concert last night was lovely (with the exception of me crying for like the first 3-4 songs and looking like a blood shot crackhead). They played my song and I had way too many squee moments over Robert Smith.
That being said, my Robert Smith (the sago palm) is doin' crapily.
gonna try to piece my brain together and shower now.

PS I got to the second row. And my camera phone sucks so it looks like i was like 16 rows back.

Cripes!

2008-05-08T20:06:58Z

I'm really sabotaging myself this semester.
I've been getting sick left and right most likely because I'm so stressed and never sleep... but I can't sleep because I've been having such wretched dreams lately! Argh!
I can't wait for my storage pod to get here tomorrow so i can just move EVERYTHING out of my room and have a billion fewer things to worry about.
I can't concentrate o n my paper until then :(
And studying for German? Oh my goodness, please, don't even ask.
Hopefully Tribal Fest will be nice, fun and relaxing, and I hope to goodness that I won't be fucking exhausted like last year (where I had to just plain walk out of Mardi's class because I was so fucking exhausted and had to go sleep in the car during the after party).

I have my German oral in a few minutes (no idea when exactly, the prof didn't post the schedule anywhere, so I may be sitting in front of his damn office for a whole hour).
All I know is that I am 4 something.

Ugh and I'm stressed out about my personal life. I feel like someone is avoiding me which is not the thing to do when problems are brought to the forefront! We have been discussing a lot of crap lately and I feel like now's the time to work on the problems brought forth. I also am afraid I may have been a bit too scary or something :S
I should stop caring so much, I really should.

Monday I am gonna go talk to the Dean again <3 hooray. And in the evening I will see The Cure <3 hooray!!!!
And then follows a fabulous month of concerts and bellydance and (hopefully fun and not douchey) Bay area ness.

Did I bitch about my really bad performance last week?
Ugh it was so embarassing. I was still getting over the whole MY STOMACH SUCKS thing and I was not feeling it. I fell out of my standing backbend and lost my spot when turning :|
At least my hair/make up/costume kicked ass!
I also think I weirded people out. Blah, so I'm not Shakira...at least I didn't do the Neubauten set, I think that would have sent them into psyduck orbit.

and here is a picture of said horrendous back bend incident. only pic i have of that night...with the exception of the LOLZ bathroom one which is my mainpic on my dance myspace now.

i think that was like half way down, i was doing one of those stop motiony kind of ones.
I know i can do better (refer to my gothla pics :P).

oh x mortis tomorrow... should I go? hm.

oh no!

2008-05-08T04:29:16Z

I would like to know why Little Robert Smith (my Sago Palm) decides to turn yellow and die-y and scary right before i actually see the real Robert Smith.
I think its conspiracy!
He looks like he has new growth (YAY) but hes all yeller. Hes been sucking up water at an atrocious rate. I'm taking him to the greenhouse tomorrow to see if anyone can give me the haps. I may also ask if they have extra potting soil because maybe he needs to be taken out of his teeny little garden center pot and placed into the nice big red glass pot i initially bought for him.

Buck up, Robbie!

oh, and I need suggestions for a burlesque name.
I'm not good at thinking sexy... although just plain tacky like BUNNY MUFF or CATHERIN COURTESANNE may work. After all it is burlesque.

and now I shall work on my paper which was due today and not done, it is douchily named "ACROSS LOOMS AND OCEANS: Cross Cultural Influences in Meiji Fashion".
Epic BWONG.